I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize