..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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