I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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