my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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