So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Screwed.edu
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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