We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize