He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
