you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Need sex. Gaining weight.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
