ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
