Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
