What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
