I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
