i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
