ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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