I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
