i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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