I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I am naked and annoyed.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
