He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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