so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
