Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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