Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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