your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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