I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
