I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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