but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
