just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
