i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize