its not stalking. its research.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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