This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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