He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
