why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
