He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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