I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
