Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
