I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
