3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
