i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
