Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
