I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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