I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
