The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Pooping to opera.
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