Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Send help, water and tortillas.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
