do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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