my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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