Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Randomize