Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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