I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
