hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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