So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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