i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
