Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
do herpes really smell.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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