I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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