ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
