Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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