Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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