Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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