just come out here and I will go home with you...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
