Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
