East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i think i have two assholes
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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