Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
