I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
