Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
