why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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