I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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