So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Randomize
