ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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