just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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