just come out here and I will go home with you...
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
